maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just found puke in my bra..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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