Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Randomize