and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
