i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Terrible idea I love it
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
