Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
