the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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