He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
