two words: eviction party
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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