im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
How does one acquire holy water?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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