Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
