My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
