sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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