i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
