One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
