Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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