Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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