they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
