Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
