you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
