Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
