So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
