return my video game
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize