He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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