Porn is love you can see.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
