Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
