Please, let me fuck your mom
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
