Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
