i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
