I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
