Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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