Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
