Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
