So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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