wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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