we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Dear god my vagina.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
