I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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