super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
