Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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