so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
two words...techno handjob
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
