Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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