shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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