lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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