so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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