Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Bring me that man meat
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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