before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Hippo gnu deer
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
