Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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