Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
