you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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