how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
