i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
how drunk are you?
Several
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
