PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
